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Family, peace, and may God grant us every grace and blessing!
In her Diary, St. Faustina describes Christians traveling through the “narrow gate”:
“And I saw…[a] road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.” (#153)
Our glorious path of following the Lord Jesus Christ is one of great difficulty. As St. Faustina describes, this path doesn’t last forever, but ends in bliss! So, I wanted to share some thoughts about walking this path based on the rich deposit of wisdom we have as a Church so we can incorporate these into our discipleship. We’ll review Jesus’ teaching, His life, related revelation, and we will consider some of St. Ignatius’ rules of discernment of spirits so we can be strengthened for battle.
Jesus tells us that in following Him we will have a cross:
“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” (Gospel of Matthew chapter 16)

Christ Carrying the Cross by Orazio Gentileschi (1563–1639)
His life shows us what the cross looks like, and at the end of His life we can clearly perceive that it can be quite painful.
Similar revelation as well tells us Jesus’ primary mission was of saving the world, and He does this by “sacrificing” Himself for our sake, by bearing the punishment of our sins, the most extreme of which is death. By saying we will also have a cross, it is safe to say that we too will participate in this saving mission. He confirms what St. Paul observes about him personally participating in Jesus’ continuing work of redemption:
“…I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (Colossians chapter 1)
So, we too continue to participate with the Lord in the redemption of the world and our brothers and sisters, the Church. So, as our sins have grave consequences like death, working with the Lord in the redemption and restoration of the world means that we can also bear some of the consequences for the sins of the world, which can be grave, through our crosses.
In another article I wrote of the sufferings of Hell, a consequence of sin, so I’d logically expect in our crosses we too can encounter these dark shadows of death: despair, or a loss of hope, pain, remorse of conscience, darkness, the terrible company of demons and Satan and their blasphemies and curses, etc. In a different article, I share how reflecting on the stations of the Cross we can discover other painful sufferings the Lord experienced: betrayal (by Judas), persecution and rejection by those He knew, and most painfully by the religious and civil authorities of His time, false accusation, He was a victim of false witness, and terrible torture.
But while these are intimidating, I don’t share these to frighten, but to build awareness that, based on what we are discussing – that in having a cross, we carry the cross for the same reason as Jesus, for the redemption of the world – these can be part of our experience.
Ministers, especially Liturgical ministers, and ordained Ministers of Priests and Deacons, should also be aware of a “cross” St. Paul shared, that he often preached through fear and trembling:
“I came to you in weakness and fear and much trembling, and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive (words of) wisdom, but with a demonstration of spirit and power” (1 Corinthians chapter 2)
In another letter he shares that He preached “not with the wisdom of human eloquence, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its meaning” (1 Corinthians chapter 1).
In these two examples, He is hinting that even in our day, in our Mass ritual, we too can have crosses of fear, trembling, and other torments, because the primary mission of the Lord to save continues.
St. Ignatius in his 14 Rules of Discernment of Spirits provides us great guidance on how to deal with all these very real torments and challenges. In these times of “desolation,” as St. Ignatius describes in his fourth rule, where we feel “darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movement to things low and earthly, the unquiet of different agitations and temptations, moving to [lack] of confidence, without hope, without love, when one finds oneself all lazy, tepid, sad, and as if separated from his Creator,” we are to remain constant in our commitments and resolve, as he describes in his fifth rule: “In time of desolation never…make a change; but…be firm and constant in the resolutions and determination in which one was the day preceding such desolation, or in the determination in which he was in the preceding consolation.” He shares in this rule that in times of desolation we actually aren’t being guided by the Spirit of God, the good spirit, but by bad spirits, demons: “Because, as in consolation it is rather the good spirit who guides and counsels us, so in desolation it is the bad, with whose counsels we cannot take a course to decide rightly.” (Mullan, S.J.)
The Lord shows us this same resolve as he approached the time of His passion, as shared in the Gospel of Luke chapter 9:
“When the days for his being taken up were fulfilled, he resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem.”
He made a resolution to fulfill His mission – I personally assume that, as happens with us, since He is fully divine and fully human, that our nature flees from suffering, the bad spirit was influencing Him against fulfilling the will of the Father, to go to His Passion in Jerusalem.
And likewise once in Jerusalem after the procession of Palms, he starts to share about the torments he felt:
“I am troubled now. Yet what should I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.” (Gospel of John chapter 12)
I’d also like to add that I believe we must not think too much into the future when experiencing these hardships. The Lord Himself tells us: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself” (Gospel of Matthew chapter 6). By “extrapolating” in this way, by assuming our crosses will last forever or for an extended period of time, we can fall into a trap that things will always be like this, which can discourage us from living our discipleship and continuing in ministry (for example, feeling despair, without hope, or feeling sorrowful, or tormented by the presence of demons and Satan). The Lord, though he invites us to His cross, also invites us to His Resurrection, meaning that at any moment he can raise us and deliver us from these sufferings.
Friends, I most sincerely hope that this article helps us to carry our very painful crosses, especially ordained ministers like priests and deacons, and liturgical ministers that are in the public view during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass where the Lord in the Eucharist is offered perpetually for the forgiveness of sins. As we discussed, the painful crosses can include torments that we bear for sins, as the Lord bore punishments for our sins: despair, remorse, sorrow, feeling troubled, and the company of demons/Satan and their blasphemies and curses, along with others. The Lord’s teaching, life, and revelation tell us that this is how we participate with the Lord in the redemption of the world, and St. Ignatius teaches us how to handle these torments: continue in your resolutions and commitments. As we have analyzed, it makes sense that these can be part of our experience and discipleship! Plus, let us be sure not to lose hope in the future because of the presence of these terrible torments in the shadow of death; God while inviting us to suffer with Him for the sake of the church and world, also will bring us with Him to the Resurrection, and He can do so at any moment.
Peace, and abundant blessings to you and yours,
Juan B
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Citations:
Catholic Company, “What did St. Michael say to Lucifer?”, Get Fed newsletter, https://catholiccompany.com/getfed/what-did-st-michael-say-to-lucifer—. Accessed 3 Jun 2025
Kowalska, St. Maria Faustina (1981). Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul. Marian Press.
Mullan, S.J., Elder, “The 14 Rules for Discerning of Spirits – “The Different Movements Which Are Caused In The Soul”, Discerning Hearts, Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s Discernment of Spirits Podcasts, https://www.discerninghearts.com/catholic-podcasts/14-rules-discerning-spirits-different-movements-caused-soul/. Accessed 22 June 2025
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